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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047474">The Purple Hyacinth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoohoo_shittykawa/pseuds/yoohoo_shittykawa'>yoohoo_shittykawa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Mature for swearing, Regret, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:34:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoohoo_shittykawa/pseuds/yoohoo_shittykawa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A college/university AU where Shouyou sees the boy he loved all throughout high school again and has to decide whether to move on or pursue him while also pursuing a college degree.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Start of Something... Awful?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I titled this "The Purple Hyacinth" because a purple hyacinth represents regret. I debated whether or not to title this "Purple Hyacinth" or "White Carnation" (which when talking about flowers means pure love), but decided to go with Purple Hyacinth because I figured that regret is a better theme for most of this story than pure love, and I thought the title was catchier. </p><p>This is my first ever fanfiction, so if you read this, I would love it if you'd tell me whether or not you liked it, and what I can do to make it even better for the coming chapters! Thank you all so much!! &lt;33</p><p>Also, anything in italics is Shouyou's inner thoughts!</p><p>Thank you so much to my friend Maya for beta-reading this!! You're the best &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t believe I’m finally here.”</p><p> </p><p>            Shouyou puts his car into park and stares out the window at his new home for the next 4 years. High school may be over, but Shouyou has a long way to go to get where he wants to be. The unfamiliarity of driving a car instead of riding his bike like he always did in high school is something he's still getting used to, but it's just another change he will have to get used to now that he's out in the real world.</p><p> </p><p>             “Ah god! Why did I have to bring so much shit to college with me?! Why couldn’t I have just brought a couple of shirts and a couple of pairs of pants instead of my entire damn wardrobe?” He stops for a second to catch his breath as his suitcases start to roll downhill, gradually picking up speed until Shouyou can no longer keep up with them. “Shit! Wait! No! Stop!” he yells as he watches his suitcases speedily roll downhill toward the dorms, groaning loudly.</p><p> </p><p>            “Are these yours?” a tall figure asks as he catches Shouyou’s luggage before it rolls too far out of his reach.</p><p> </p><p>            “Uh, yeah… sorry about that. After walking up those massive hills I guess I’m already too tired to keep my shit together, huh.” Shouyou says, frowning at himself for being so reckless.</p><p> </p><p>            “It's really no big deal! I almost lost my luggage walking down this hill, too. It’s way too steep for its own good!” He smiles at the smaller boy innocently.</p><p> </p><p>            Shouyou can feel a blush rushing into the tips of his ears as he eagerly states, “Oh yeah, by the way, my name is Hinata Shouyou, but you can just call me Shouyou if you want.” </p><p> </p><p>            “Oh! Mine’s Kuroo Tetsurou! You… can just call me Kuroo, I guess. Not really anything special to my name is there.” he states plainly as he hands Shouyou’s luggage back to him. “Let me know if you need anything! I’ll be around somewhere! See ya later Shouyou!” </p><p> </p><p>            “Bye!” Shouyou says as he starts walking the rest of the way to the dorms.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>            When he finally gets to his dorm, he opens the door to a mostly empty room, with two beds and two desks. It seems as if his roommate had already moved his things in, so Shouyou got to work putting his bed together and putting the majority of his belongings away. He notices way more gaming devices on his roommate’s desk than he’s ever seen in his life, and, before he knows it, he’s already picked one up and is looking at every detail of it, from the paint to the buttons and screen. </p><p> </p><p>            A loud bang coming from the hallway almost makes him drop it, but he carefully sets it back on the desk, trying to make it seem as if he had never touched it in the first place.</p><p> </p><p><em>           What the hell was that? </em> Shouyou thinks to himself before another, even louder bang startles him out of his own thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>            He opens the door to the hallway and notices two guys fighting and slamming each other into the walls repeatedly. Punches are being thrown, and Shouyou thinks that he even saw one of them bite the other. The one doing most of the damage to the other, though, Shouyou notices, is Kuroo… Shocked, he just stands there thinking to himself, <em> what the hell have I gotten myself into? </em></p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>            Shouyou walks into his first class of the semester, excited as ever to start college. This would be a fresh new start to his life, and even though he’s taking intro-level psychology and sociology classes, he’s worried that he might not be able to keep up with the others in his class.</p><p> </p><p>            He sees a seat in the fairly crowded lecture hall next to a boy who doesn’t seem all that interesting at first glance. Quiet, small in stature, and seemingly enthralled in whatever he is doing on his phone, he doesn’t seem the personable type. Shouyou sits down next to him, and the boy barely even acts as if he noticed.</p><p> </p><p>            “Hi! My name’s Shouyou! What are you playing?” he asks in a very overly-bubbly tone.</p><p> </p><p>            “Uh… just a game I found, it’s not even that interesting.” he quietly replies without looking up from his phone.</p><p> </p><p>            “Are you majoring in psychology too?!” Shouyou asks as his interest in his classmate grows larger and larger with the more he speaks. He's shocked to hear how low his classmate's voice actually is.</p><p> </p><p>            “Yeah, I am. Bio-psych to be more accurate. I’ve always wanted to learn about the brain’s effects on people’s emotions and actions. It may seem super boring, but it's actually really interesting once you get into it.” the boy states with a newfound confidence in his voice, seemingly out of nowhere.”</p><p> </p><p>            The two talk for a little while longer about their majors until the professor walks in and starts the lecture, forcing them to stop mid-conversation.</p><p> </p><p>            Since it’s the first day of classes, the professor has everyone stand up and state their name. One by one, people stand up in turn and say their name, until it's time for Shouyou and the boy next to him. Shouyou proudly stands up and loudly announces his name before sitting down, whereas the boy calmly stands up and quietly says his name, sitting back down just as quickly as he had stood up. Having to listen to what the boy said very carefully, he learns that his name is Kenma Kozume. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>           That’s a really cool name… I should get to know him better... He seems really fun.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>            After class, Shouyou excitedly states that they should trade phone numbers so they could study together sometime, and Kenma reluctantly agrees.</p><p> </p><p>            As he’s walking out of the classroom, Shouyou gets pushed from behind into someone, who quickly grabs him and helps him regain his balance, hands sliding down Shouyou’s arms to stabilize him, briefly brushing his hand against the smaller boy’s for a split second before recoiling it quickly. Both of them blush and break eye contact with each other, smiling a little at the unintentional touch.</p><p> </p><p>            “Are you ok? Sorry for grabbing you like that, but you looked like you were about to be flattened into a pancake,” he says politely, chuckling a little at his own joke.</p><p> </p><p>            Shouyou is about to respond, but then looks up at who exactly had caught him, and to his surprise, it was Kageyama Tobio, the man he had loved all throughout high school but never had the guts to confess to.</p><p> </p><p>            “I’m… okay, thanks… umm thanks for catching me, you have a really nice fa-… I mean strong grip,” he says, extremely flustered with a blush very strongly splayed across his face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>           What the hell was that, Shouyou!? Pull it together! He probably doesn’t even remember you. When I get back to my dorm I am going to smack myself in the head so much for that, oh my god.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>            “No problem! Well, I’ve got to get to class, I’ll see you later!” Kageyama says with a bright smile before realizing that he had ripped Shouyou’s sleeve a little when he grabbed him. </p><p> </p><p>            Kageyama quickly gets Shouyou’s attention again by grabbing his hand quickly to stop him from walking off.</p><p> </p><p>            “I am so so sorry for ripping your sweater! I’ll pay for a new one, I promise! How much was it?! I feel so bad, oh my god I’m so sorry.” he says, extremely embarrassed that he had ripped his sleeve, even though it was barely noticeable.</p><p> </p><p>            “Uhh don’t worry about it, Kageyama! It's not a big deal! I promise! I have a sewing kit back at my dorm, so I can just sew it back together. It's not even that bad anyway. It'll be nice to have an excuse to sew again.” Shouyou says, trying to calm the taller boy, even though his own heart was beating so insanely fast that he was probably the one who needed to be calmed down at this point.</p><p> </p><p>            “Wait… you know my name?... Oh my god! Hinata! Is that you? You look so different, and you… dyed your hair?” he asks with a puzzled look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>            “Yeah… I felt like the orange made me stand out too much in high school, so I dyed it right before I came to college this semester. I’m not sure if I like it though, I feel like it makes me look ugly.” Shouyou says, not able to look the taller boy in the eye for fear of his blush returning in full force.</p><p> </p><p>            Kageyama very intently studies Shouyou for a minute before looking straight at him and smiling a mischievous grin.“Well, I think the black is a really nice look on you. It makes you even cuter than you were in high school.”</p><p> </p><p>            Hearing this, Shouyou can’t help but grin and blush at what the taller boy had said, looking up at Kageyama with his large, colorful eyes. Just as he’s about to say something, his phone buzzes, and when he checks it, he realizes that Kenma had texted him, so he says a quick goodbye to Kageyama, despite wanting to talk more with him, and rushes off back to his dorm so he can respond to Kenma without all the other distractions that the campus holds.</p><p> </p><p>            As Shouyou is walking down his dorm hallway, he can’t help but feel regret for not telling Kageyama how he felt back in high school, and he stops dead in his tracks. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>           If I had just told Kageyama how I felt instead of chickening out and letting him leave for college, maybe we would’ve stayed in touch over the summer. Maybe he would’ve… liked me back. We went through so much together with volleyball, and I liked him so much. Why didn’t I just tell him how I felt when we were sitting on his bed on the last day of school? God. I’m so damn stupid. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>            Shouyou eventually reaches his dorm room, and as he goes to unlock the door, he hears something that faintly resembles a… video game? Coming from behind the door? He realizes that it's already unlocked, and he takes a deep breath before turning the doorknob and walking into his dorm, seeing who his roommate is for the first time, ultimately deciding how his freshman year of college will go without even being a week into it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Shouyou has no clue what's in store for him for the rest of the semester &gt;:)</p><p>Also wow Kags really? You could've grabbed his arm, or wrist, or anything else, but his hand? Are you really as dumb as you look... </p><p>Either make a move on him and pursue him or don't cmon man I know its only the first chapter but geez. Speed up the timeline a little bit.</p><p>Hehe, you all have no clue whether or not Kags will pursue Shouyou, so good luck finding out &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. An Uphill Battle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning for mentions of Eating Disorders!!! Please do not read this chapter if this bothers you in any way! This chapter is mainly for the main trio to bond more, and it's mainly just fluff, so please don't worry about skipping it if you aren't comfortable reading!! Thank you, and I love you all! &lt;3</p>
<p>Thanks again to Maya for beta-reading this chapter and fixing my atrocious grammar! You're the best! Mwah.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>              As Shouyou walks into his dorm room, he is unpleasantly greeted with the sight of his two new friends, Kenma and Kuroo, laying on Kenma’s bed, making out passionatelyt. He stands there for a second, mouth agape, before Kenma notices him and throws Kuroo off himself, with his eyes growing wide and cheeks becoming a bright red with embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I’m… g-gonna go get some l-lunch! Bye!” Shouyou stutters out before slamming the door to his dorm room and starting towards the dining hall, with the imagine of what he had just witnessed replaying over and over in his head, seemingly entrancing him. He’s snapped out of his daze by someone grabbing him on the shoulder and saying his name, sounding fairly worried.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Shouyou! Shoyou! Are you okay?!” Kuroo asks as he stops the smaller boy, panting from just having run down the entirety of the dorm floor hallway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Uh… yeah. I’m fine?” Shouyou says hesitantly before realizing who had asked him that, with his face going bright red.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I called your name over and over again, but you didn’t respond… Wait, do you have a fever? Your face is really red and flushed!” Kuroo asks, looking very concerned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “No, I’m good. I just… Wasn’t expecting to see that when I walked into my dorm room… that's all,” Shouyou mumbles out. “Sorry I didn’t respond to you. I don’t know what came over me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “It’s all good! Come back to the room please. Kenma and I need to talk to you. We know that was really awkward, and we’re really sorry, so please come back to the dorm room so we can apologize properly.” Kuroo looks like a distraught puppy, and Shouyou can’t help but accept the offer to head back, even though he would rather be anywhere other than with them in the dorm room again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              Shouyou walks back to the dorm with Kuroo, and very reluctantly opens the door and walks in. He slowly shuts the door and walks over to his bed to sit down, with Kuroo heading over to Kenma’s bed. Kenma, surprisingly, is the first to speak.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I am so sorry you had to see that, Shouyou. I didn’t expect anyone to walk in and… yeah. We got a little carried away. We started dating in high school and… i’m just glad it hadn’t gone any farther than that when you walked in, or we might owe you a new pair of eyes. Well, we probably still do, but that's beside the point. I’m really sorry Shouyou…” Kenma says, looking down at the ground, not making eye contact with the smaller boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I don’t really see what the big deal is. So what, he saw us making out. We apologized, that's about all we can do, Kuroo says, looking mildly annoyed with his boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Not a big deal? My roommate just walked in on us making out with my hands up your shirt and you don't see what the big deal is? Whatever, Kuroo.” Kenma says, very obviously upset with his boyfriend, but also somewhat embarrassed and upset with himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Well... “ Kuroo says seductively while standing up and starting to walk over to Shouyou, “We wouldn’t mind if you joined us… it would be good practice for when you finally get to kiss that boy.” Kuroo smiles and carefully nudges Shouyou’s chin up towards him, before Kenma intervenes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Get your ass back here right now, Kuroo, and shut the hell up. I’m really sorry about him Shouyou. He really needs to learn when to put on a filter around other people.” Kenma angrily says with a nasty glare at his boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Hey! I was just joking, geez.” Kuroo states, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Shouyou, I'm really sorry again for you having to see us… yeah. I promise you, it won’t happen again.” Kenma says to Shouyou, apologetically.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I won’t promise anything,” Kuroo says with a wink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Uhm. It's.. okay… I was just a little surprised to walk into my dorm room and see you two… sucking face…?” Shouyou says with a small tint of pink rushing to the tips of his ears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Well, that's certainly one way to word that, as vulgar as it may be… you’re not wrong,” Kenma says, looking at the ground before looking back up at Shouyou. “I guess it's only fair that I walk in on you making out with someone now, right?” Kenma says with a small smile on his face and a bubbly laugh escaping him, which surprised Shouyou enough to cause him to start to laugh too, before realizing what he said and registering who he would even want to make out with, which causes his smile to immediately fall and a small scowl to replace it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “There’s really only one person I would want to kiss, and I’m pretty sure they don’t feel that way about me… hell, when I bumped into him, literally, like I got shoved into him and almost fell down, he barely recognized me from high school. I liked him all throughout high school, and now he barely even recognizes me…” Shouyou says with a small sigh, and a look towards Kenma and Kuroo shows their obvious pity for him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Wait, Shouyou, have you even had your first kiss yet?” Kenma wonders out loud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Uhmm…” Shouyou mumbles under his breath, looking extremely embarrassed. “No, not yet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              Kenma and Kuroo both look over to him with their mouths wide open in shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              Kuroo starts to stand up and grins mischievously, before being immediately pulled back down by Kenma who angrily states, “Don’t even think about it, asshole,” to which Kuroo sighs and relents.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “You should wait for someone you really care about if it means that much to you. My first kiss was with someone who I never really wanted to be with, in the first place, but then he started pressuring me into doing… things… with him, and I couldn’t say no because I was too afraid he would hurt me. First kisses should be special, so sit your ass back down, Kuroo, and shut up,” Kenma says as he notices Kuroo trying to sneak his way over to Shouyou without his perceptive boyfriend noticing, pulling him back onto the bed. Kuroo proceeds to sit much closer to Kenma than Shouyou would’ve guessed he would, and he watches as the taller boy puts a long, muscular arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, pulling Kenma into his chest as the smaller boy sighs and relaxes into his touch, smiling gently, seemingly very tired.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “I should leave you two alone,” Shouyou says with a small, but meaningful smile. “I’m gonna go grab some lunch. I’ll see you two later?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Wait! We’ll come with you Shouyou!” Kuroo says excitedly. “I haven’t eaten and I'm guessing Kenma hasn’t either from how tired he is already. Lets go!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Okay? Guess we’re eating lunch together!” Shouyou says reluctantly before Kenma mumbles something into his boyfriend’s ear quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Do we have to, Kuroo…?” Kuroo looks over at his boyfriend and reassures him that it will be a fun time to get closer with Shouyou, so Kenma agrees, and they all start on the trek to the dining hall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              Kuroo and Kenma walk side by side, holding hands the entire time, with Shouyou trailing behind a little bit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>              Why did I have to become the third wheel for these two already… I was a third wheel for Tsukki and Yamaguchi all throughout high school, and now I have to do the same with these two?!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              After what seemed like ages to Shouyou, they arrive at the dining hall and all grab some food before sitting down at a table. Kuroo and Shouyou have a small conversation while eating before Shouyou notices that Kenma is barely eating anything, and is just moving his food around with a fork.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              “Hey, Kenma? Are you going to eat?” to which Kenma stiffens up a little bit and responds, “I'm not super hungry. To be honest, i’m never hungry. I don’t really eat much at all.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>              “How many actual meals have you eaten in the last week?” Shouyou inquires with a worried furrow to his eyebrows, to which Kenma replies with, “Maybe 1? Probably not even that…” Shouyou and Kuroo look at each other, both very worried about the small boy’s health. They all decide to go back to the dorms before their next classes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              They walk the entire way back in dead silence, only broken by Shouyou’s yelp when someone runs into him, startling him out of his daze. When they get back to the dorms, Shouyou sits down on his bed, and Kuroo comes to sit next to him, opting to not sit next to his boyfriend for this conversation. They both look at Kenma with visible worry in their eyes, and finally, Shouyou speaks up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              ”Kenma… do you have an eating disorder?” Shouyou asks timidly, to which Kenma snaps his head up, with his eyes growing wide as tears start to form, eventually dripping down his face after a few seconds. Shouyou goes over to Kenma’s bed next to his crying friend and pulls him into a warm embrace, trying to help him calm down and compose himself again. Kenma at this point is audibly sobbing, with tears leaking into Shouyou's ripped sweater and snot running down his nose. Shouyou decides to wait until Kenma is done crying to speak up, opting to give him the time he needs to cry out his feelings and worries. Finally, after around 10 minutes of them being like that, Kenma sits up, out of Shouyou’s embrace, and starts to explain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>              “Ever since my 1st year of high school, I've always hated the way I look. I wasn’t skinny enough, or I didn’t have enough muscle, and even when I was playing volleyball, I never felt good enough about myself to change in front of everyone else, so I would go into the bathroom instead of the club room to change. That’s when I stopped eating as much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              I went from eating multiple full meals every day to just one meal a day, to a full meal every few days, and finally, to barely anything. It's been 4 years since the start of high school, and I still can't get those thoughts out of my head. I’m not pretty enough, or I don't look like how I should, or I weigh too much, or I have too little muscle, or my body is ugly…” to which Shouyou cuts him off and immediately says, “Kenma. Your body is not ugly. You are one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. We literally just met earlier and I was instantly drawn to your beauty. I bet Kuroo felt the exact same way when you two first saw each other.” To which Kuroo finally pops in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>               “Kenma from the moment I laid eyes on you I wanted you. You were so goddamn beautiful in every way, and I wanted you to be mine so badly that it hurt. When I walked up to you and you were quiet and reserved, I instantly knew. You’re more than just beautiful. Inside and out, and I know how hard it may be to accept that for yourself, but take it from your boyfriend and someone you literally just met today. You are so much more than you could ever realize. You’re not just beautiful. That word can’t even begin to describe how… absolutely… I can’t even think of a word to describe it, that's how amazing you are. I know you may feel less than perfect, but in our eyes, you are everything. And more.” Kenma looks up at Kuroo with a look of bewilderment on his eyes, before they widen once more and tears start to pour out of him, even faster than before. This time, Kuroo is the one that wraps Kenma into a tight hug while he sobs. But, these sobs were different. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>              They weren’t brought on by an overwhelming force of sadness. They were sobs of happiness. Of relief. Of the feeling of being loved and wanted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> For once in his life, Kenma felt… truly at peace with who he was and what he looked like, even if only for a moment.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is not the direction I had planned for this chapter to go, but ya know what, screw it. This got hard to write at some points since it hits a little too close to home, but I felt it was a powerful chapter and brought Kenma, Kuroo, and Shouyou much closer together. Get ready for the actual angst &gt;:)</p>
<p>Last ending note I said Shouyou doesn't know what's in store for him, but neither do you all :)  Not even my beta-reader, Maya, knows what direction I'm going in this story. Good luck. I would say don't cry, but I'm not a good enough writer to make you cry with my words :P </p>
<p>See ya in a couple of days with the next update (or whenever I get around to it since college classes started today)</p>
<p>Ahhh as I'm doing my final editing and read-through I can't help but tear up when Kenma is explaining. Life sucks.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Coming to Terms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Time for 𝒻𝓁𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀𝓈 ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ</p>
<p>This chapter ended up being a lot longer than I expected it to be, so enjoy :)<br/>(I know it's still not insanely long, but its a lot to write for me in one sitting with my shitty attention span lmao)</p>
<p>As always, thank you to Maya for being the best Editor/Beta-Reader I could ever ask for!!! *she has an ao3 account but won't tell me what it is so I can't tag it &gt;:(*</p>
<p>WE HIT 100 HITS!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU SO SO SO VERY MUCH FOR READING &lt;3333333333</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>              Shouyou walks into his university’s dessert cafe, excited to get to eat something sweet after a very long day of very hard classes. He looks around the cafe to see if he knows anyone that he might be able to sit with since it looks fairly busy today. His eyes swoop around the room, looking for Kenma or Kuroo, but are forced to do a double-take when he notices Kageyama sitting at a booth on the far side of the cafe, waving him over to sit with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              He reluctantly makes his way over to Kageyama, before plopping himself down, sitting opposite Kageyama at the booth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Hey, Hinata! How have you been? We didn’t really get a chance to catch up after I… ripped your sweater and everything…” Kageyama frowns a little, clearly still frustrated with himself for inconveniencing the smaller boy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I’m doing pretty good, I guess. My classes are starting to get really hard and time-consuming, so I figured I’d come here to get something sweet and relax after a long day,” Shouyou says with a small grin on his face. “I’m surprised to see you here, though. Are you meeting someone? I've hardly ever seen you eat anything sweet,” Shouyou inquires, secretly wondering if Kageyama is meeting up with a date.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Nope. Just wanted to get something sweet today. I had a really long day, too. My neuroscience major is kicking my ass with the classes I’m taking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “You-you’re a n-neuroscience major…?!” Shouyou looks up at Kageyama in utter disbelief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              He lightly laughs at the tone of complete shock in the other boy’s voice. “Yeah, despite how badly I may have done throughout most of high school, I really kicked it into gear my third year and got myself ready. I expected it to be hard, so I crammed a lot, but jesus. This is so much more than I could’ve ever expected.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I never in a million years would have expected you to become a neuroscience major. We were always so evenly matched in school, but your abilities just went <em> BWOOSH </em> right over my head apparently,” Shouyou says as Kageyama laughs a little louder at Shouyou’s usage of the word “ <em> Bwoosh </em>”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Well, what are you majoring in, Hinata?” He asks, inquisitively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “It’s not as cool as neuroscience, but… I’m a psych major. I plan on working as a therapist to help kids with mental health issues, or trauma, or really anything that they feel they need to talk about. I hope to save up enough money that, after a while, I can start my own business and offer free sessions to people who can’t afford to pay a normal therapist. Sometimes, the people who need the most help are the least willing or able to get it,” Shouyou says, blushing as he looks at Kageyama, who seems to be staring at him in awe of his noble dreams.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I wish I were as selfless as you, Hinata. You’re a genuinely amazing person, and even better for doing that. Helping those in need. And, it helps that you still look like a child, so they’ll relate to you better!” Kageyama says, smiling and laughing at the pouty face that Shouyou makes at his slightly snarky remark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The conversation eventually shifts to what they had been doing over the summer, and Kageyama’s smile immediately drops. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I, uhm. I spent most of the summer at my boyfriend’s house. We knew it was only a matter of time before we would have to leave for university, so we wanted to spend as much time together as possible before I left. We officially broke up a few weeks ago. It hurt to see him go, but we  knew we couldn’t make long-distance work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Shouyou is listening in awe with some slight jealousy coursing through his veins but then comes to his senses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “How long did you two date for?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Oh, yeah. I completely forgot I never told the team about him. We dated for around a year and a half I believe. We got together in the Winter of our second year and, as I said, broke up just recently. We were actually about to have our 18 month anniversary, too.” As Kageyama is talking about his ex-boyfriend, Shouyou can't help but think to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>               Why would he ever let you go? You’re such an amazing person.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “If I were your boyfriend, I would make our relationship work, no matter what. Long-distance or not,” Shouyou mumbles under his breath, not realizing that he was thinking out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “What did you say Hinata? I couldn’t hear you, it sounded like you mumbled something,” Kageyama says, wondering what could be so horrible that he had to mutter it under his breath, which in turn makes Shouyou’s face go bright red as he fumbles with his words, trying to come up with a believable lie, before just saying something fairly close to the truth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Oh, I was just saying how lucky he was to have gotten to date you, especially that long. I know if I had someone as great as you, I wouldn’t let him go, even if it meant we were 18 hours away from each other.'' Shouyou blushes and looks up at Kageyama, who is just staring at him in complete disbelief that his old teammate who seemingly hated him was calling him great. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Kageyama thinks back to what Shouyou said and goes, “Wait, Hinata, are you gay?” to which his eyes go wide, shooting his head up to look at Kageyama with a very flustered look on his face and a very timid voice. “Uh, yeah, I am. I-I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that before, to be honest. Even my parents and Natsu don’t know…” </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>               I miss Natsu so much… </em>Shouyou thinks as his mood drops just a little, before being perked back up by what Kageyama says. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Well, for what it’s worth, I had a huge crush on you during our first year…” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Shouyou’s jaw drops to the floor as he stares at Kageyama with a bewildered expression on his face, completely and utterly tongue-tied. “I never pursued anything with it, though because I always thought you were straight… well, that and you acted as if you hated me 99% of the time, so I figured I would never have a chance with you anyway,” Kageyama says, with a large blush seeping onto his face. “I actually tried to ask you out one time, near the end of our first year, but I’m guessing you just took it as a joke because you just started laughing hysterically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>               JUST TELL HIM! THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO TELL HIM THAT YOU LIKED HIM TOO, JUST DO IT, DUMBASS! </em>Shouyou thinks to himself before finally responding to Kageyama after what seemed like forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>               “Yeah, I, uh. I was worried that you were joking… If I would’ve said yes and you were joking, I don’t know what I would have done. I probably would have stuck my head in between the mats and never come out, to be honest,” Shouyou says with a light laugh gracing Kageyama’s ears as he instantly perks up. “Wait… does that mean… you liked me, too?” Kageyama asks, but this time he’s the one who is flustered and embarrassed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Well, yeah, dummy. Why do you think I always hung around you? I would purposefully slow down on our walks home just to get to spend time with you. Every extra second I got to spend with you, especially one on one, made me so happy, and I always secretly hoped it made you happy, too, but it all started changing in the winter of our second year. Now I know why. You stopped racing me to the gym in the mornings, stopped eating lunch with me, and eventually stopped walking home with me, and it killed me inside to slowly lose you. You meant so much to me, but your priority was your boyfriend, which I can understand. I just… wish it were different. Maybe I would’ve confessed if I weren’t so upset and confused about everything.” Shouyou says, staring at the table the entire time, refusing to look up at his crush.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              But, before he can say anything else, he feels Kageyema’s hand lay on top of his on the table. Shouyou looks up at him, eyes laden with hurt from the memories of losing his best friend, and gives a weak, but meaningful smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I liked you so much Hinata. To be honest with you, I never stopped liking you, even when I had a boyfriend. That was one of the reasons we fought so much. I would always want to eat lunch with you or walk you home, but he wanted me to be with him, so I always let him push me around. I’m really sorry for letting that happen. I was so worried at graduation when you ignored me the entire time. I thought that… maybe, you hated me for it.” Kageyama says, with tears starting to bundle up in the corners of his eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Kageyama. I could never hate you. You had a boyfriend. He was always going to be your top priority. Granted, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend at the time, so it felt like you were just cutting me out of your life, but now that I know… I’m... actually okay with it. It shows that you cared so deeply and truly for him that you were willing to sacrifice your friendship with me to make it work, and I can’t be mad at you for that.” Shouyou smiles up at Kageyama before looking down at his hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              At that moment, he realized that Kageyama’s was still on top of his, which caused him to blush so hard that he felt like he was going to melt. Or, maybe, that was the happiness and repressed feelings and emotions finally coming back out. Maybe Shouyou was allowing himself to feel for Kageyama again. Maybe… Shouyou was letting himself <em> feel </em> again. For the first time in months, Shouyou felt genuinely happy and at peace with what had happened, and what is currently happening. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Hinata.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Hinata…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Hinata!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Shouyou snaps out of his own mind and back into what was actually happening at that current moment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Y-yes?” He weakly replies to a concerned-looking Kageyama. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “You completely spaced out on me Hinata. I said your name like, 10 times before you finally snapped out of it. Are you ok? Your face looks really red, are you sick? Do I need to take you to the nurses off-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Shouyou cuts Kageyama off by flipping his hand over, still under the larger boy’s and squeezing before saying, “Kageyama. I’m fine. I’m just… a little embarrassed, that’s all. I’m not sick, I just wasn’t expecting you to say things like… well… everything you said. Knowing that you liked me back, even when we were probably still figuring ourselves out, makes me wonder if things would’ve been different if I would’ve just accepted your confession at the end of our first year. Maybe we would've stayed closer throughout high school. Maybe I wouldn’t still be so caught up on y-'' Shouyou slaps his hand across his mouth, stopping himself from saying any more. He looks up at Kageyama timidly, expecting him to be disgusted, or repulsed, or anything other than how he actually looks. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              He looks… happy? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Almost like he wanted me to finish what I was saying. Kageyama repositions his hand so that it's aligned with Shouyou’s, and brings his fingers down, interlocking them and giving Shouyou’s a small squeeze, with his grin growing larger and larger with every second that passes. “You dumbass. When I said I never stopped liking you, I meant it. I never got over that rejection. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b> <em>3 Years Prior: The Night of the Confession</em> </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The team had just gotten done with one of their last practices before the end of the term, and as everyone was walking out of the club room, excited to get home and finally get a good night’s rest, Kageyama and Shouyou are still there, getting changed very slowly, as if they have all the time in the world. Kageyama notices that Shouyou is about to start leaving, so, before even putting on a shirt, he reaches out and grabs Shouyou by the arm and turns him towards him. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>              “Hey… Hinata?” Kageyama asks with a slight blush emerging onto his cheeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Y-yeah Kageyama?” Hinata replies, looking even more nervous than the other boy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I was just w-wondering if you maybe wanted to… go out some time?” Kageyama says, not able to make eye contact with Shouyou. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              His head shoots up to look at the smaller boy when he hears a burst of bubbling laughter. Confused, he cocks his head a little bit to try to understand why Shouyou is laughing so hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “What’s so funny”? Kageyama asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “It’s just that… you… asking me out? On a date? PFFT!” Shouyou barely manages to finish his sentence before breaking even farther into hysterics, which has Kageyama feeling so many different emotions he never knew he could feel, all at the same time. Hurt. Anger. Disappointment. But, most of all… acceptance. He grabs his shirt, more forcefully than necessary, and put it on quickly before grabbing his bags and walking out of the club room, leaving Shouyou there to laugh his ass off on the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              As soon as Kageyama closes the door, Shouyou stops laughing and lets out a defeated sigh. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>               What if he was being serious? Did he mean it when he asked me out? Did I just break his heart? Oh god... Wait, no. That's not possible. Kageyama is straight. And, even if he wasn’t, he would never date someone like… me. Would he?  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Shouyou sits up, deep in thought before snapping out of it and grabbing his stuff. He runs out of the club room, trying to see if Kageyama waited for him before leaving, but, to his dismay… he’s all alone under the stars. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              For the first time in months, Shouyou felt truly alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________________________________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Present Day</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>              “I wanted to be with you. I… still want to be with you.” Kageyama mutters with his signature scowl back on his face, and Shouyou can’t say that he enjoys seeing it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Hey. Stop frowning. You’ll be all wrinkly and gross by the time you’re 35. I like seeing you smile... I like seeing you happy, idiot. I want to be the person who makes you happy. I wasn’t sure that you even remembered who I was, especially after it took you so long to recognize me when I got shoved into you, but, I need to ask you something… why… would you want someone like me? I’m short, way too energetic for my own good sometimes, and my personality is so overly happy most of the time that I feel like I'm a nuisance to those around me. Why would you want to be with someone as… weird as me?” Shouyou can’t meet his crush’s eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              All the memories of high school and being ignored and forgotten just rush back into him after talking about them for so long. All the crippling self-doubt. All the horrible things people said about him. Shouyou tells himself that he won’t cry. Not in front of Kageyama, but… he can’t help it. Everything wrong in his life is suddenly being brought back to light, and Shouyou isn’t ready to tackle everything that happened quite yet. His shoulders start to shake violently as he lets out a quiet sob. Kageyama looks very intently at him, before letting go of his hand and standing up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>               He’s leaving. I told him how I feel, and he doesn’t want to be with me. He’s leaving… I fucked everything up again… I let myself feel. Why did I let myse- </em>Shouyou’s thoughts are interrupted by a sudden warmth enveloping his small body. Kageyama had sat down next to him and had pulled him into a firm, yet warm embrace. The taller boy rubs Shouyou’s back, consoling him and holding him while he cries, not even worrying about getting tears on his clothes. With the smaller boy’s head resting on his chest, he leans his head down and whispers into his ear. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Listen to me. You are more than enough. You are everything I want, and more. I know you may not see it, but you are perfect in my eyes. You are always so excited about everything in life, new and old. You always choose to see the best in people. Hell, you saw the best in me, even after I treated you like shit when we met. You are such a kind and caring person, and I have never once seen you be mean to someone on purpose. Everything you do, you do with love and warmth. Your laugh fills people’s hearts. Makes them happy. Makes them feel as if everything will be okay, even in the darkest of situations. You are the sun in so many people’s lives, brightening their days and providing them the strength to go on. You mean so much more to me, and so many others, than you even realize. You have changed my life for the better, Shouyou.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              At that moment, Shouyou looks up at Kageyama, startled by the use of his given name. He looks into his eyes and smiles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Ka-... Tobio. Thank you. You mean so much to me and I’m so sorry that I rejected you by laughing that day, and I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you to want to stay with m-” Shouyou is suddenly cut off by a finger being placed on his lips. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Stop talking, idiot. You are more than enough. Did you not hear what I just said about you? You are not the reason I stopped being… well… me. My boyfriend changed me, in some ways for the better, but in so, so, so many others… for the worse. I regret not telling you more clearly how I felt, and I regret not being by your side when you needed me the most, but, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere Shouyou. I won’t leave you this time.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Hearing Tobio say this causes his emotions to all bubble out in the form of more crying. He leans against Tobio’s chest again, wrapping his arms around him, and sobs... even worse than before. Tobio had said exactly what he wanted him to say. He had told him that he wasn’t leaving him. Shouyou could finally let himself be happy again. His tears gradually stopped flowing and were slowly replaced with a smile. He cuddled up against Tobio, not wanting to move from his warm embrace until he absolutely had to. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Tobio…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Yes, Shouyou?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “I can’t breathe…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Oh, shit! Sorry…” Tobio says apologetically, before releasing Shouyou, but as soon as he let go, Shouyou looked up at him with those warm, amber eyes, and asked him something that he always wanted to hear, but never expected to come from the tiny boy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “T-Tobio… will you g-go on a date with me…?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Of course, Shouyou. Nothing would make me happier,” Tobio replies with a smile on his face, before Shouyou wraps his arms around him, nuzzling into his chest once more. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              All Tobio can do is sit there, entranced by the smaller boy’s beauty. He slowly leans his head down and plants a small kiss on the top of Shouyou’s head, making Shouyou melt into him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              It’s as if they were made for each other. They fit so well together, despite their contrasting personalities. They didn’t care who saw them at this point. They were both just happy to <em> be </em> with one another.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>              “Here’s your food! Sorry for such a long wai-...” The waitress stares at them so close together and affectionate, before regaining her composure and setting their food down on the table. Without another word, she retreats back into the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt… whatever was happening in that booth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The two boys stay that way for another minute or two before Shouyou finally notices that his cake was on the table. He slowly pulls back from Tobio and looks up at him with a beaming smile, making Tobio’s heart melt at the sight of him being so damn cute. They both turn to the table and dig into their delicious cakes, blushing extremely hard at the people now staring at them and their <em> very </em> public display of affection. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              They both look at each other and start laughing, intertwining their hands together while Shouyou leans onto Tobio’s shoulder, happier than he’s been in a very, very long time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Damn this escalated quickly... soooo Kagehina anyone? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) also no, there are no planned 𝓈𝑒𝓍𝓎 scenes for this story, I don't feel comfortable writing about it right now :)</p>
<p>also, I found these really stupid but really funny things like the one I just used and damn you best believe there will be many more used in the future :)</p>
<p>This chapter sped up the timeline I had in mind, but who cares. I wanted to write a heartfelt scene between Tobio and Shouyou, and I did. Yay. There will be more development on Tobio's ex-boyfriend, but that will be later in the story. I consulted with my Editor/Beta-Reader, and we both decided that a backstory on his ex would be beneficial to the plot, especially for certain reasons I can't disclose at this current moment ;)</p>
<p>Let me know in the comments if more backstory and more flashbacks are something you would be interested in! I had a lot of fun writing the flashback to the Club Room, and I hope to write more flashbacks in the future, especially about their relationships and memories throughout high school. See y'all in a few days with the next chapter :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. New Developments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shouyou and Kenma stand in their kitchen for much longer than necessary, and Shouyou really needs to learn how to say no to coffee. Let's just say... Kuroo likes carousels more than he should.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's currently 1 am as I'm writing the outline for this chapter, and wow. I never knew you could write so much while having the characters standing in a damn kitchen.</p><p>Sorry for the long ending notes for this chapter, I had a schedule change I needed to clarify :)</p><p>I posted this before my Beta-Reader, Maya, got the chance to look at it, but I wanted to go ahead and update so I can start on the next chapter and have it posted by next Friday, so if there are any grammar mistakes, they will be fixed very soon! </p><p>Feel better soon, Maya!!!!! &lt;333 Mwah (♥ω♥*)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>              Shouyou wakes up to see beautiful beams of sunshine streaming in through his open blinds. He notices Kenma in the kitchen, brewing coffee, and when Hinata bounds over there, Kenma pours him a cup while muttering to himself, “I'm gonna regret giving you that again, aren’t I?” </p><p> </p><p>              “Definitely not… It’s not like I get so hyper when I have caffeine that I physically can’t stop moving or anything… definitely nothing like that…'' Kenma rolls his eyes dramatically before thinking for a second and coming to a realization.</p><p> </p><p>              “Wait! Shouyou… you have a date today, right?” </p><p> </p><p>               “Oh, shit, yeah. I do,” He says with a dopey grin spreading across his face. </p><p> </p><p>              “You better not drink that damn coffee then. I don’t want you to be hyperactive on your date. This is an important day for you,” Kenma says, snatching the cup of coffee out of Shouyou’s hands and carefully placing it onto the countertop. </p><p> </p><p>              “So. Shouyou. Tell me something. What’s he like?” Kenma asks with a playful grin splayed out across his face. </p><p> </p><p>              “Well… he’s really tall, and handsome, and don’t even get me started on his massive hands… oh my god those hands are so nice like all I want to do is hold them and stare at them and… nevermind that's not important. Anyway, he’s like, one of the most insanely caring people I’ve ever met, but you wouldn’t know it if you didn’t read the emotions behind his actions. He may act like a hardheaded, egotistical asshole, but he’s really just a huge softie. Kinda like Asahi!” Shouyou says, realizing that Kenma has no clue who Asahi is, but ends up not caring to explain.</p><p> </p><p>              “Well, except Asahi is really nice all the time, where Tobio is constantly calling me a dumbass and ridiculing me… but I promise he does it because he cares about me! It’s not him being a genuine asshole, it's him expressing his concern for me, or expressing how much he cares, without having to outright say it. Well, I mean, that <em>was </em>how he was in high school, but now… I honestly don’t know. He acts so differently than he did back then. I know it's only been a couple of years since we started high school, and much less since we entered our 3rd year. I didn’t really get to talk much to him during most of our second and third years since his boyfriend kept him basically on leash and chain. And no, Kenma. That isn’t some nasty sex joke about Tobio liking bondage.” Kenma snickers a little, his dirty joke being stopped before it could even leave his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>              “His boyfriend was… overprotective? Overbearing? I honestly don’t know which words to use to describe him, considering I didn’t even know they were dating until a couple of days ago. I also have no fucking clue who he is. Tobio never told me his name. That’s not important, though. I just never got to be with him after they got together, ya know? It always seemed like he had something better to do than be with me…” Shouyou’s smile fades a little as he remembers everything that went wrong in high school.  </p><p> </p><p>              “He stopped eating lunch with me, he stopped racing me to the gym before volleyball practice, and, hell. He even stopped walking home with me after practice. It fucking killed me to lose him that way, so I can’t imagine how much of a personality shift he must’ve had in those years I didn’t see him. He’s so thoughtful and caring now, and I think the only time he was calling me a dumbass was when he was trying to make me feel better about something… so I guess that hasn’t changed.” This time, Shouyou is the one to let out a slight chuckle, before continuing. </p><p> </p><p>              “He doesn’t walk around like he’s better than everyone, anymore. I think he finally sees us all as equals and not some pawn in his game of chess. I don’t know how, but I think whatever his boyfriend did or said to him changed him for the better. Yeah, he’s more reserved than he used to be, especially when it comes to details about his boyfriend, but I think that’s just because he’s older and more cautious now. Sorry, I got really sidetracked…” Kenma looks down at his friend and smiles. </p><p> </p><p>              “Shouyou, it’s obvious that you really like this boy. No matter what happened in high school between you two, or, well, I guess… didn’t happen? You two will always hold some form of attachment for each other, whether it’s just from playing volleyball together, or something more. Something… <em> spicy… </em>” Shouyou looks up at Kenma in utter disbelief at what his quiet friend had just said.</p><p> </p><p>              “KENMA! NO! NOT SPICY!! Ok, well… maybe I want it to be spicy, but it's not there yet! God… I liked him for so long, and now I’m afraid that I’m gonna fuck everything up and make a fool out of myself… again,” Shouyou says with a remorseful look on his face. </p><p> </p><p>              “Shouyou. If there’s one piece of relationship advice I can give you, it’s that dating your best friend is so insanely easy. You already know everything about each other. What they do in their free time, what their favorite meal is, what their shampoo smells li-… okay, well. Maybe not that last one. Maybe Kuroo and I are just weird, but that's beside the point. If you like him as much as it seems like you do, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. He seems pretty set on you, Shouyou. I think you found a good one,” Kenma says proudly, moving to embrace his friend.</p><p> </p><p>              “STOP. TRYING. TO. DRINK. THE. DAMN. COFFEE. YOU. IDIOT.” </p><p> </p><p>              Shouyou laughs at this and lets Kenma put the coffee mug back on the counter before promising that he won’t try to drink it again. </p><p> </p><p>              “So, Kenma. Would you mind calling Kuroo and seeing if he’s free?” Shouyou asks, jutting out his bottom lip and making his expression into that of a lost puppy. </p><p> </p><p>              “Shouyou. You know that puppy dog eyes don’t work on me, idiot. Yes, I’ll call Kuroo. He’d be more than happy to help you pick out an outfit to wear to your <em>date </em>tonight,” Kenma tells him, flippantly pulling out his phone and calling Kuroo before Shouyou has time to comment on his forethought. </p><p> </p><p>              “H-how did you know that I needed help picking out an outfit for tonight? Are you psychic or something?” He asks after Kenma’s conversation with Kuroo ends and they hang up. </p><p> </p><p>              “No. I’m not psychic. You just have really bad taste in clothing. Get dressed. Kuroo is gonna meet us at the mall so we can go shopping. Before you bitch, and whine, and say, “What’s wrong with the clothes I have here?<em> ”, </em>I would like to point out that you own exclusively athletic shorts, booty shorts, sweatpants, sweatshirts, and a couple of t-shirts. You are in no position to be going on a date with a wardrobe that… atrocious,” Kenma says, smirking at his superior fashion sense. </p><p> </p><p>              “Now, get your ass dressed so we can hurry up and get to the mall. I’m hungry, and they have a pretzel stand that I’ve been dying to try. Chop chop, slowpoke.” </p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>              As Kenma and Shouyou arrive at the mall, they notice Kuroo standing out front, seemingly waiting for them. “How long have you been here for, Kuroo?” Kenma asks. </p><p> </p><p>              “Not a super long time… maybe, 30 minutes?” Kuroo replies with a placid expression. </p><p> </p><p>              “30 minutes?! What the hell, Kuroo? We agreed on 11:30, not 11, you idiot. I know you’re excited to see Shouyou, but Jesus. You didn’t need to be <em> that </em> early,” Kenma says with a playful smile dancing across his lips as he leans in for a kiss from his boyfriend, who gladly accepts the uncharacteristic display of affection. </p><p> </p><p>              “Uh, Kenma… Are you ok? You never want to be all… coupley and shit while we’re in public,” Kuroo asks, slightly worried that his boyfriend may have been replaced by an alien overnight. </p><p> </p><p>              “I’m fine, Kuroo. It’s just that, seeing Shouyou so excited for his date makes me want to spend more time with you and show you more affection. I’ve been working on trying to open up more, especially to you, and I think the PDA is helping me get more comfortable with you out in the open. I feel bad that you can’t show your affection in public just because I'm uncomfortable. I mean, you are… well… a bit wild to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>              They walk into the mall, and Kuroo’s attention immediately snaps to the carousel by the entrance. “Oh my god… a carousel!” Kuroo basically screams at his friends. “We need to ride it. Now. Let’s go!” </p><p> </p><p>              “Not happening Kuroo. You know I hate carousels, and I'm betting Shouyou does t-” Kenma gets cut off by the sight of Kuroo and Shouyou running side-by-side to the carousel, all but forgetting about him. </p><p> </p><p>              “Damnit. Guess I have two kids to take care of, now,” Kenma says, smirking a little.</p><p> </p><p>              After 15 painstakingly long minutes of standing there and waiting for the other two to finally get off the carousel, they step off the platform and run straight back over to him.”Okay, let's go!” Shouyou says, grabbing Kenma’s wrist and pulling him along as he runs through the mall. </p><p> </p><p>              After 5 hours and $300 spent on new clothes, Kenma and Shouyou are both ready to leave, but Kuroo demands that they stay while he shops for a little while longer. </p><p> </p><p>              “Please?! I helped Shouyou fix his horrible style choices, so please stay with me for like 10 more minutes. I promise I’ll be quick,” Kuroo begs. </p><p> </p><p>              “Yeah, quick seems to be a common theme with you,” Kenma mutters under his breath, just loud enough for Shouyou to hear and snicker a little, but not loud enough that Kuroo can discern what he was saying. </p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>              When they get back, they all rush into Shouyou and Kenma’s dorm room, having lost track of time while getting ice cream on the way home. Shouyou only had an hour and a half until his date, and the park where they were meeting was almost 30 minutes away. </p><p> </p><p>              “Why he chose to take you that far away when you both live on campus, I will never understand,” Kenma says with a sign. The two boys get to work on setting out a proper outfit for Shouyou to wear. </p><p> </p><p>              “Well, it is getting colder outside, so I recommend wearing something heavy enough so that you won’t immediately freeze, but just light enough that eventually, you’ll need a jacket. When that happens, Kageyama will see you shivering and offer his jacket or sweatshirt or whatever he’s wearing. It’s a win-win scenario. We get to watch you freeze your ass off, and you get to wear his jacket,” Kenma declares with a lopsided grin on his face. </p><p> </p><p>              Kuroo and Kenma eventually settle on ripped, black skinny jeans, a brand new pair of Doc Martens with a rainbow flag on the heel, and a casual white t-shirt with a band logo on it, which they tuck into the jeans. </p><p> </p><p>              “Perfect. Just a note… it’s supposed to get down to 37F tonight… so good luck,” Kuroo warns playfully, pushing Shouyou out the door and waving at him as he walks down the hallway. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>               This is gonna either be so very amazing or so very bad. We’ll see which one it ends up being.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>              Shouyou doesn’t feel like driving his car, so he decides to take the bus instead. He pays the fare and pops into a seat at the back. Right as the bus is about to leave, one final passenger gets on, which has Shouyou floored. He notices Shouyou, and proceeds to walk over to him, all while Shouyou is trying his damn hardest not to faint from excitement. </p><p> </p><p>              “Hey, Shouyou,” Tobio says, taking the seat next to him. </p><p> </p><p>              “H-hey Tobio.” </p><p> </p><p>              “So. You ready?” Tobio says with a look of complete fascination on his face. </p><p> </p><p>              “I… don’t know what I’m getting ready for, since you said it was going to be a surprise. You told me to meet you at the park, and well. Now we’re on the same bus.” Shouyou nervously laughs, looking away from the taller boy to hide his embarrassment. </p><p> </p><p>              “Hey. You don’t have to be so nervous. I already like you. You don’t have to try to impress me by trying to act all cool and composed. That’s my thing.” Shouyou laughs a little bit at that, chipping away at his nervousness piece by piece. </p><p> </p><p>              “Let’s just have a fun night together, and hope that you can still tolerate me by the time we’re done. Also. You’re insane for wearing a t-shirt when it's going to get below 40 degrees outside. Are you trying to freeze yourself?” Tobio asks with a small smile spreading on his face. </p><p> </p><p>              “W-well, no. Kenma and Kuroo picked out my outfit and they told me to wear this so that… so you would give me your jacket…” Shouyou mumbles. Tobio looks down at him fondly. </p><p> </p><p>              “Shouyou, here. I was planning on giving it to you, anyway,” he admits, taking off his sweatshirt to hand to the smaller boy, who gladly accepts it and immediately puts it on, refraining from burying his face in it. </p><p> </p><p>              “Mmm smells so good…” Shouyou very quietly mumbles as Tobio puts an arm around him and pulls him into a warm hug. They stay curled up together like that until they get to their stop, the park. Shouyou hesitantly stands up, moving off of Tobio, and grumbles as he walks off the bus. </p><p> </p><p>              “D-damn. It’s really cold, e-even with a s-sweatshirt,” Shouyou chitters through clenched teeth, shivering violently. </p><p> </p><p>              “Well, maybe next time you shouldn’t take your friends’ advice and wear something that will actually keep you warm,” Tobio retorts, rolling his eyes playfully. </p><p> </p><p>              “Why would I need to wear something warm when I have you?” Shouyou smiles up at him, still shivering, but feeling warmer due to the growing blush spreading on his cheeks. Him and Tobio walk to a nearby bench and sit down for a minute, wanting some alone time. They immediately fall back into the same rhythm they had on the bus. Tobio’s arms around Shouyou, with the smaller boy pressed up against his chest. </p><p> </p><p>              “I swear I was cold just a second ago,” Shouyou says with a bright smile, cuddling closer and closer to him, eventually almost ending up in Tobio’s lap, which he doubts he would’ve minded at this point.</p><p> </p><p>              “I really like you, Tobio,” Shouyou proclaimed. </p><p> </p><p>              “Well, I really like you too,” Tobio echoes back before lifting the small boy and placing him in his lap, letting Shouyou straddle him and put his head into the crook of Tobio’s neck. He shudders a little when he feels Shouyou’s warm breath on his collarbone. </p><p> </p><p><em>               I really hope he thinks that I shivered because of the cold, not because he’s literally sitting in my lap and breathing on me. Definitely not. The boy I like is sitting in my lap with his legs around me, and his head placed perfectly on my neck. How did I get so damn lucky, </em>Tobio thinks to himself before melting into Shouyou. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>              “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Shouyou whispers in his ear, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. </p><p> </p><p>              “Me too. I mean, we could always keep doing this back at the dorms if you want. It’s a little too cold to get ice cream anyway tonight, so I think that’ll have to wait for another time.” Shouyou pulls back from Tobio and looks at him with a warm smile spread across his face.</p><p> </p><p>              “I would love to, and… I’m guessing Kenma is at Kuroo’s apartment, so we could have my dorm all to ourselves if you want.” </p><p> </p><p>              Tobio takes his hand and gently cups Shouyou’s cheek and jaw, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin, before pulling him into a firm, but delicate kiss. They both melt into each other as their lips interlock, Shouyou with his arms around Tobio’s neck, and Tobio, in turn, puts his hands on Shouyou’s waist. They both can’t seem to get enough of the other but eventually have to pull away for air. They rest their foreheads together and smile at each other, once more, content with just being together.</p><p> </p><p>“I would love that, Shouyou.”</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>              When they get back on campus, the first thing they do is head to Tobio’s dorm to pick up some clothes for him to sleep in before walking over to Shouyou’s dorm, fingers laced together the entire way. When they reach Shouyou’s dorm, he pulls out his key and unlocks the door with shaky hands. When they walk in, the first thing they notice is a note that Kenma had left on the counter for them. It reads, </p><p> </p><p>              “Hey guys, I decided to spend the night at Kuroo’s apartment since I figured you two would want some time alone. Kageyama. Don’t let Shouyou have coffee. Ever. Not even if he begs and pleads. Do. Not. Give. Him. Coffee. I made that mistake the first morning, and I have regretted it ever since. I know he can be persuasive, but stop him from getting it at all costs. Shouyou. Don’t annoy the shit out of Kageyama like you do to me. Love you. </p><p> </p><p>              P.S. Shouyou talks in his sleep, so don’t be alarmed if you hear incessant mumbling throughout the night.” </p><p> </p><p>              After they both read the letter, they laugh a little. </p><p> </p><p>              “Kenma’s right, I do talk in my sleep… I’m sorry if it bothers you, I can always sleep on the floor or something if you need me t-” He’s cut off by Tobio pressing a small, quick kiss to Shouyou’s lips. </p><p> </p><p>              “I don’t mind. I think it’s cute.” </p><p> </p><p><em>               Thank god we didn’t turn the lights on, I don’t want him seeing me looking like a tomato. </em>Shouyou thinks to himself before moving from the kitchen to his dresser to grab a pair of pajama pants. </p><p> </p><p>              He starts to change into the pajamas before remembering that Tobio is right there, but much to his surprise, Tobio is turned around, giving Shouyou some privacy while he changes. He ends up in cat pajamas that he bought at the mall with Kenma and Kuroo, and Tobio’s sweatshirt. He walks over to Tobio and taps him on the shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>              “Are you going to change, or are you sleeping in jeans?” Shouyou asks with a playful inflection in his voice. </p><p> </p><p>              “I-I’ll change.” Shouyou turns around to look through his dresser for something, giving Tobio privacy. When they’re both done, Shouyou walks over to his bed and lays down, motioning for Tobio to do the same. </p><p> </p><p>              He slips under the blanket and wraps his arms tightly around Shouyou, seemingly back in a similar position to the park bench, albeit more comfortable. Shouyou presses up against Tobio and lets himself relax, intertwining their legs and laying his head once more into the crook of Tobio’s neck, letting himself drift off into blissful sleep. After around 5 minutes, Shouyou is fast asleep, but Tobio is wide awake. It only takes around 10 minutes for Shouyou to begin talking in his sleep, breath tickling Tobio’s collarbone once again. </p><p> </p><p>              He leans his head down slightly and places a small kiss on Shouyou’s forehead before letting himself also drift off into a peaceful slumber.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>              Shouyou wakes up before Tobio does, letting himself enjoy the comfort of being cuddled up against his warm body for a few more minutes, before closing his eyes. As he’s beginning to drift back off to sleep, Tobio stirs and turns his head to give Shouyou a small but sweet good morning kiss on the forehead. </p><p> </p><p><em>               Well, fuck. Guess I’m not going back to sleep. Oh well. </em> Shouyou thinks to himself before opening his eyes and looking up to see a groggy Tobio smiling brightly at him. </p><p> </p><p>              “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you genuinely smile, Tobio,” Shouyou whispers up at him. </p><p> </p><p>              “Well, then you obviously didn’t see my face very much last night.” Tobio places another kiss on Shouyou’s forehead before placing one also on his lips. He pulls away after a few seconds and gets out of the bed, stretching his sore muscles. Shouyou follows soon after and immediately tries to bolt to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, but Tobio catches him and tells him to go brush his teeth instead. </p><p> </p><p>              “Maybe you can have a cup of coffee if you’ll go brush your teeth. I would much rather kiss someone who doesn’t have morning breath,” Tobio says jokingly, grinning and leaning over the countertop. Shouyou realizing that this means the promise of more kisses immediately runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth, who is followed soon after by Tobio, also needing to brush his teeth. They stand there for a few seconds before Tobio hears Shouyou begin to sing something. </p><p> </p><p>              “Are you singing the ABC’s, Shouyou?” Tobio asks with a mouth full of toothpaste. </p><p> </p><p>              “Uhm maybe,” Shouyou replies with a slight blush gracing his cheeks in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>              They finish brushing their teeth, and Tobio has to pick up Shouyou to stop him from running and making coffee. He sets him down on the counter and makes a cup for himself. </p><p> </p><p>              “Hey, no fair. Why do you get to drink coffee, but I don’t?!” Shouyou whiningly pouts. </p><p> </p><p>              “If you’ll be a little more patient, I was going to let you have some, dumbass,” he retorts. This causes Shouyou’s smile to grow even larger than it usually is, making Tobio even more infatuated with the small boy. </p><p> </p><p>              He leans down to plant a kiss on Shouyou's lips, setting his cup of coffee on the countertop and moving to place his hands onto Shouyou’s hips, bringing them closer together. The kiss lasted much longer than Tobio expected, and by the time he pulled away, he didn’t even register that Shouyou had already grabbed his cup of coffee and was already gulping it down at record speed until it was all gone and Shouyou placed the cup back onto the counter, grinning mischievously up at Tobio before hopping off. </p><p> </p><p>              “GOOD MORNI-!” He yells at the top of his lungs before Tobio’s hands clamp down on his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>              “Shouyou! It's 9 am, people are still asleep! You can’t just yell as loudly as you can and expect people not to get mad. You’re such a dumbass,” Tobio says, shaking his head. </p><p> </p><p>              “I know. But I’m <em> your </em>dumbass.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AHHHHHHH... I don't even want to know how many hours I spent writing this... I tried to keep with my every other day or so update schedule for this, but I realized with my college classes that it's just probably not going to be possible to keep updating every other day. It's not that I don't have the time for it, it's more that I physically and emotionally don't have the energy to write any time other than like... 1 am *cough* idiot *cough*. Anyway, I will try to get this fic updated as much as I can, but I'm trying to make the chapters longer than they had been, so it takes a lot more planning and prep than I'm used to. I am effectively living off coffee at this point.</p><p>Suffice to say, it will probably go down to one update per week, maybe a little less on average. If my class' toll on me starts to lessen, I'll definitely write more, probably just filler chapters, but for the time being, I am going to write longer chapters and just update less frequently.</p><p>I have officially written 1,000 words about Shouyou and Kenma's conversation... in their kitchen... while Kenma is holding Shouyou back from going absolutely batshit crazy and downing a cup of coffee in one gulp. Kenma is everyone holding me back while I try to make coffee at 3 am because I have no sleep schedule and have no plans to get one.</p>
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